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Below is a transcript of a speech I gave on August 27, 2012 to NYU Stern’s 600+ incoming freshmen and transfers. I’ll post the video when I get it…if the quality is halfway decent.

It’s exciting to see all these bright shining faces.  You’ll look nothing like this after your first all-nighter studying for your finance final. You’ll wake up covered in highlighter wondering why you were highlighting your iPad in the first place.  You’ll run into class late, give some lame excuse, and think about what you’ll tell your parents as you doodle skeletons where the essays should go. I remember those days well.

Today, I’d like to share with you three lessons I wish I got before I started college. Luckily all you have to do is stop texting for five minutes to benefit from my mistakes.

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What if I told you there was an iconic man who travels the world drawing fanatical crowds, his book has been read by millions, and his followers praise his brave crusade. No, this man is not the Messiah, or even Oprah. His name is Richard Dawkins and ironically, he is the world’s most beloved atheist. His rise to prominence is only the beginning of a major movement taking hold in America and around the world. That’s right, Atheism just came screaming out of the closet and its pockets are bulging.