Why It’s Time for Cannibalism

“Swedish scientist advocates eating humans to combat climate change”

Yes, that’s a real headline about a real scientist. OK, let’s not get crazy… He’s a “behavioral scientist and marketing strategist”.

People love Catastrophe Porn.

Yes, climate change is a problem. No, we won’t have to eat our dead neighbors to deal with it. No matter how awesome that sounds, freak.

Nor will we need to eat grasshoppers, drink cockroach milk, move to Mars or take many of the insane measures doomsday peddlers advocate. How do I know? Check how they live. Did they all move to higher ground? Abandon air travel? Are they all vegans? Did they stop having kids? Are they in a constant state of panic? No, they want us to be – to subsidize their agenda.

One thing experts agree on: whatever we do now likely won’t have an impact for 100 years. So this means we’d be investing in future generations…something we are AMAZING at! </sarcasm>

That’s why real change requires real global benefits TODAY. Alternatives must get way cheaper, more scaleable, and convenient. The US is only 14% of global energy use and shrinking. Bernie Sanders’ “Green New Deal” would cost the US $16 Trillion over 10 years. We take in $3.5T a year in taxes TOTAL. Don’t worry, Bernie will make up the difference with proceeds from his next book, “This Book Pays for Itself, Just Leave the Store With It”.

Without the world onboard, the US bearing all that cost, alone, amounts to a regressive tax on mostly the poor (and the 99%) with little climate impact. 

We are an adaptive species with lots of bright minds working on the problem. We’ll definitely experience some discomforts and a few serious disasters, but as we speed up carbon reduction, our great-grandkids will be just fine.

Sorry if that’s less satisfying than panic, but it’s true. Enjoy life, have kids, eat some steak, and support effective environmental efforts. Just don’t be a dick about it. And for f*%k sake, stop marinating grandpa!