Heil to the Chief

My grandfather died fighting the Nazis in World War II. My family and I escaped the Soviet Union because of religious persecution. So imagine how thrilled I was to see ‘alt-right’ white nationalists playing ‘Sieg-Heil-to-the-Chief’ in D.C. this week. I’m not sure what’s more disturbing – this re-packaged neo-Nazi insurgence or our incoming President’s tacit acceptance their support. By the time these gentle souls start shadowing Trump’s itinerary – in uniform – offering ‘extra security’ and kindly helping locate and extract Muslims and Mexicans, it will be too late.

In November 2015, I wrote in The Reich Stuff:

Ben Carson and…Trump’s fact-free candidacies made me realize that after years of apathy, Americans are finally ‘Hitler-Ready’. Like ‘3D-Ready’ and ‘HD-Ready’, it doesn’t mean we’ll get 3D or HD, but our equipment can handle it.”

Guess we’re getting that (((upgrade))) after all…

I Tried…

As a fiscal conservative and social progressive, I sit alone at a lot of parties. I try to use that time to come to thoughtful, measured conclusions. I have no team to defend. That’s why despite the lies, buffoonery, and classlessness of Trump’s campaign, I tried to find 9 Reasons to be Hopeful About a Trump Presidency.

In the week since I wrote that, he bashed my optimism in the kneecaps with:

He reaffirmed my observation from the debates, “Such a small man on such a big stage.”

In March, long before I imagined Trump getting this far, I satirically endorsed him:

 

“Trump is America’s close call. He is the crazy ex-fiancé, the near-death experience, the violent drug-addled pet chimp that one day nearly tears our arms off. We need Trump to break us out of our malaise. The question is how close to killing us does this careening Buick have to come? I don’t think a failed, cartoonish campaign teaches anyone a lesson. We need four years of protests on the streets, with bonfires and billyclubs, against Der Drumpf, to get republicans, democrats and independents fighting for the same cause, rediscovering our shared values. To rise again, we need to hit rock bottom. And rock bottom has landed like an orange, fluffy, fiery meteor from planet Bravo. So rejoice, Americans, our (eventual, painful) resurgence is upon us!”

So here we are holding hands with the chimp…

What now?

I was prepared to accept the Electoral College results. I even satirized the sore losers in this video. After all, everyone knew the rules going in.  Plus, when it’s all over (preferably his Presidency, not all life on earth), we will be great again. Not because Trump lifted us up, but because we towered above his smallness.

I changed my mind. Let’s not roll those dice. We have one last, long-shot chance to use our broken electoral system to flip our teetering electors to get a qualified moderate like Romney or Kasich into office. Let’s git-r-done.

If we can’t, there’s already a template how we become “great again.” In The Twilight Zone episode “To Serve Man“, the aliens also had a noble slogan. Spoiler Alert: It was a cookbook.

Worried?

Urge your your senator and congressman to prepare to impeach Trump. By week five, there’ll be a Costco-sized warehouse of fuck-ups to choose from.

In the meantime, I strongly suggest watching my video on How to Survive the Trumpocalypse.

 

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