hillary clinton

Electoral College Reveals Secret Plan To Topple Trump

Dear Fellow Americans, We, here at the Electoral College, pride ourselves on being America’s Safe Space. That is why our leader, Dean Hufflepuff was so distressed to read your change.org petition, … Electoral College Reveals Secret Plan To Topple TrumpRead More »

Myth of the American Idle

Sunday’s presidential debate featured a room full of undecided voters asking the candidates questions. Well, I have a¬†question for them:¬†What the f**k?!?? Are they¬†the most diligent people on earth, poring over¬†The Economist and Foreign Policy¬†for nuances? Or, is their¬†existence more mystifying than the big bang. Or, a 10th season of¬†The … Myth of the American …

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Resting Bitch Face: 23 Sassy Observations From The First Presidential Debate

First, I rejoiced at¬†Donald’s convention coup, then at¬†Hillary’s coronation. Now, my two heroes on one stage!!! The only thing left is that Meet the Press/Spongebob crossover and I can die happy… Anyway, here are my observations from¬†the first presidential debate: Hillary‚Äôs first answer was like a keyword orgasm. She‚Äôs been … Resting Bitch Face: 23 …

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Why Silicon Valley Billionaire Peter Thiel Endorsed Donald Trump

If you weren’t wowed by Scott Baio or Antonio Sabado Gigante Jr. at the Republican convention, surely you’d be impressed¬†by PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel. Along with Elon Musk and Max Levchin, Thiel made hundreds of millions from Paypal. Since then, Thiel turned a $500K early investment in Facebook into $500 … Why Silicon Valley Billionaire …

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The One Lie That Will Save American Democracy

Like rotten fruit suspended in Jell-O,¬†we’ve congealed inside a¬†failing two party system. The two likely nominees for president have the combined likability of a hemorrhoid playing Mariachi music. Sure, many¬†still yearn for a decade at Bernie’s 350-million-man kibbutz. Others now get their crackers…wafers…at¬†The Church of Trumpology. Some¬†endorse Donald Trump, hoping¬†he … The One Lie That …

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